Trump Moves Oval Office to Russia

Downplays move to run America from Moscow as “just another summit”


President Donald J. Trump made an unscheduled trip to Moscow on Friday as polls showed angry voters sweeping him out of office in the 2020 presidential election.

The increasingly unpopular leader intends to spend the remainder of his first term outside the United States, meeting with the world’s foremost dictators. The plan has raised concerns among his political opponents, who fear he is positioning himself for dictatorship and will refuse to yield the presidency.

Trump’s tumultuous tenure is supposed to end Jan. 20, 2021, if he’s defeated at the polls this month.

“I’m the most popular human being in the history of humanity,” Trump declared Sunday. “The only way I can lose this election is if it was rigged from the start by Radical Liberal Deep State Traitors.”

White House Spokeswoman Kayleigh McEnany downplayed concerns about the president’s unscheduled meeting with Russian dictator Vladimir Putin on Saturday.

“President Putin is a close ally in the global struggle against Radical Islam, Radical Liberalism, Radical Feminism, Radical Trade Unionism, the Reality-Based Community and decent working people who refuse to bow to the rich – as they should,” McEnany said Sunday. “This is just a routine visit from one president to another.”

Trump is expected to meet with North Korea Dictator Kim Jong Un on Tuesday and Saudi Crown Prince Mohammed bin Salman on Friday. Visits with Turkish dictator Recap Erdogan, Syrian dictator Bashar al-Assad and Chinese dictator Xi JinPing will occur for the following week, according to McEnany.

The unprecedented junket has triggered alarms within the U.S. intelligence community, which has long suspected Trump of being a Russian stooge and enemy of democracy.

The trust-fund baby, turned turned crooked real estate developer, turned Reality TV hustler is currently enmeshed in a race for The White House with Democratic challenger Joe Biden, which has drawn the support of both Wall Street and the Liberal Republicans amid the deadliest period in U.S. history. Under Trump’s erratic leadership an average of 938 Americans have died each day since the Covid-19 pandemic hit the U.S. on March 1. That compares with a prior record of 504 fatalities a day during the U.S. Civil War.

“The big problem here is that President Trump is still in control of the nuclear football, which gives him the power to launch a devastating attack from Moscow on any country in the world – at will,” said Challenger Joe Biden. “Including the U.S.”

German Prime Minister Angela Merkel decried the optics of Trump’s decision to pay homage to the world’s leading dictators.

“The democracies of the world have taken our lead from the U.S. for decades – until now,” she said during a speech Saturday at the United Nations. “Today, the leader of the world’s foremost military power is clearly an enemy of the Liberal tenets of democracy, equality and freedom our societies were built upon. Europeans must safeguard ourselves until Americans regain control of their nation.”

First Lady Melania Trump, who is recovering from a bout with Covid-19, declined to accompany her husband overseas. He’s traveling with a lifelike sex doll named “The Hillary” instead. The doll was a present from Putin.

Former Secretary of States James Mattis called Trump an “agent” in a global war on democracy by the world’s remaining monarchies. Putin changed Russian law in July to allow himself to continue to serve as President until 2036, when he will be 84. Chinese President Xi Jinping eliminated similar term limits in 2018.

“Basically, both of these guys are dictators now, which is what Trump clearly wants to be,” Mattis said. “We’ve been so worried about Racial Islam and Communism for the past 50 years that we completely lost sight of The House of Saud’s efforts to undermine democracy via the so-called global economy. They’ve been discreetly trying to restore the world’s absolute monarchs to protect their own despotic rule.”


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