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Love in the Time of Hog Heads and Habitual Liars

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Scientists are racing the clock to find a cure for the Pinnochio Effect, as Republican fabulists contend with a frightening and inexplicable period of rapid skull expansion in the post-Trump era.

Dotard President Oversees Deadliest Period in U.S. History

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The Moron President's mishandling of the Covid-19 pandemic has led The United States into the deadliest period in its 244-year history. The previous record? The U.S. Civil War. It generated an average of 504 deaths a day – about half of the current Covid death rate. About 20 Americans are dying each day right now for each U.S. combat death at the height of The Vietnam War – when our military averaged 46 fatalities a day in 1968.

The Epic Bullshit of January Home Sales

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The Wall Street cheerleaders at CNBC would like you to believe new home sales surged to their highest level in more than...

The Trump Challenge: Tell Ruskies “Fuck Off”

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The problem with the United States right now is that most Americans would hire a Mexican day laborer to carry their burden of citizenship...

God Admits Mistakes, Regrets Past Failures

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God expressed regret for his failure to prevent genocide, natural disaster, poverty, war, child abuse, and The Moron Presidency on Thursday, acknowledging for the...

U.S. Lawmakers to Introduce Robotic Citizens

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Congressional Republicans and Democrats announced a tentative agreement Thursday to replace poor and middle class Americans with robots and artificial intelligence (AI) by 2020....

Top Florida Dem Trips Over Dick

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The Democratic Party's incoming Florida Senate leader resigned amid a sex scandal, opening the door to further Republican gains at a time when the GOP is busily undermining democracy across the nation.

Hillary is Not The Anti-Trump

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It still stuns me to hear Hillary Clinton blame her defeat in the 2016 presidential race on anything but the $153 million she accepted...

Liberal shooter targets DC baseball game

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Sadly, it has come to this. Open violence in the streets against members of a Corrupt Corporate Congress who habitually turn a blind eye to...

Cynical Times editor trolls Clinton stronghold

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Victor Epstein was cruising his Facebook timeline alone Thursday afternoon, buck naked in the privacy of his living room, when the break in the social...