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Love in the Time of Hog Heads and Habitual Liars

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Scientists are racing the clock to find a cure for the Pinnochio Effect, as Republican fabulists contend with a frightening and inexplicable period of rapid skull expansion in the post-Trump era.

Dotard President Oversees Deadliest Period in U.S. History

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The Moron President's mishandling of the Covid-19 pandemic has led The United States into the deadliest period in its 244-year history. The previous record? The U.S. Civil War. It generated an average of 504 deaths a day – about half of the current Covid death rate. About 20 Americans are dying each day right now for each U.S. combat death at the height of The Vietnam War – when our military averaged 46 fatalities a day in 1968.

Markets Plunge on Trump’s Coronavirus Miscues

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Financial markets plunged this morning following a disastrous presidential press conference about the coronavirus pandemic, in which Donald J. Trump confused the fast-spreading illness with the Bohemia and Dos Equis beers.

The Epic Bullshit of January Home Sales

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The Wall Street cheerleaders at CNBC would like you to believe new home sales surged to their highest level in more than...

The Fading Dream of a Blue Wave

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If you thought the Republican Party couldn't possibly win the upcoming midterm elections in the face of The Moron Presidency and the vaunted Blue...

Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg is Most Hated American

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When it comes to “schadenfreude,” the German word for taking pleasure in the suffering of others, Facebook CEO and Chairman Mark Zuckerberg is No....

The Lady was a “Trump”

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The “recreational mannequin” which prompted a police investigation Thursday in Ohio is actually a long lost and much loved member of the presidential household, according to law enforcement officials.

Trump Wives Challenge Toadstool Penis Description

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“I wouldn’t call first penis a toadstool dah-link,” said first wife Ivana, 69. “It remind me of geoduck. You know this thing – yes? – is like big clam that look like little dick.”

Plaid Shirt Guy, Working Class Hero

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The Cynical Times’ Working Class Hero of the Week is “Plaid-Shirt-Guy.”

The Moron President Attacks His Supporters

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The Moron presidency took a turn for the surreal Thursday, when Donald Trump told supporters it’ll be their fault if he's impeached.